Tuesday, August 31

:::Girl/Guy Poem:::

:::Girl Poem:::
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
And I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
Or yell like Tarzan when my bed gains a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see - I'm just not that kind!
I am glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad - I could sing
I sure don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over, you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll not buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know --I've got far too much pride!
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
To have these two boobs and squat when I pee
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
Stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band
Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
Then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
Can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
Join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my dick
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!

:::Guy Poem:::
I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
I don't live on yogurt, diet coke, or cottage cheese.
I don't bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts.
I can get where I want to - north, south, east or west.
I don't get wasted after only 2 beers,
and when I do drink I don't end up in tears.
I won't spend hours deciding what to wear.
I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair.
And I don't go around checking my reflection
in everything shiny from every direction.
I don't whine in public and make us leave early,
and when you ask why get all bitter and surly.
I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could sing.
I don't have to sit around waiting for that ring.
I don't gossip about friends or stab them in the back.
I don't carry our differences into the sack.
I'll never go psycho and threaten to kill you
or think every guy out there's trying to steal you.
I'm rational, reasonable, and logical too.
I know what the time is and I know what to do.
And I honestly think its a privilege for me
to have these two balls and stand when I pee.
I live to watch sports and play all sorts of ball.
It's more fun than dealing with women after all.
I won't cry if you say it's not going to work.
I won't remain bitter and call you a jerk.
Feel free to use me for immediate pleasure.
I won't assume it's permanent by any measure.
Yes, I'm so very glad I'm a man, you see.
I'm glad I'm not capable of child delivery.
I don't get all bitchy every 28 days.
I'm glad that my gender gets me a much bigger raise.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true.
I'm so glad I'm a man and not a woman like you!

~~{~@ kat @~}~~

:::The Beginning of the End!!!:::

omg today is the last day of summer!! no!! i didnt do anything fun at all....o well...9 months and we have summer vacation again....its not that long right? i don't know how i'm gonna be able to get up at 6 tomorrow...its like not gonna happen. lol we have to read through our agenda books and i already covered mine with different shit...well ggfn ttyl lyl

~~{~@ kat @~}~~

Monday, August 30

:::Just Keep Swimming!!:::

Its the second to last day of summer and it was really hot out this morning....so me and nikki went to josh's house and went swimming!! lol it was so much fun!! Josh took us to this one part where u just let urself go and the current brings you back, me and nikki didn't know it was really deep right there, and josh never told us so when we tried to touch bottom we just about screamed!! lol then we jumped on the trampoline for a while and then me and nikki had to go. Right now my mom is pissy at me....i hope she still let's me go to sena's on friday...fun fun! lol Well i'm gonna go for now, TTYL LYL!!

~~{~@ kat @~}~~